Andrea
Williams

Biting it back The red seeping from my mouth Only a small breath of it. The flavor of death I try to stop it The bleeding seeds consuming me I let it. I want it. Only half– No – More More More I don’t try to stop it anymore The red spilling into my open throat A deep inhale of it. Spring will never come again As long as I drink the blood The deep crimson love of the dead.

It’s for you. Take it all, Take none if it suits you. Take my hair, My hazel eyes, Take my smile. My lilting laughter. Piece by piece. It’s all yours, Take it all. Take none if it suits you. Take my kindness, My temper too. Take my expressions, My funny little freckles. Piece by piece, Tear away every piece. Whenever you’d like, Whenever you need. To be a mother is to give yourself away, Expecting nothing to return. For you I’ll do it willingly, not knowing if you will ever exist. All of the energy, Combining in a moment, Only to be torn from me again. Without anything to show for it. I gave it all away, Receiving the ashes in return. The hopelessness of knowing you were of me, And now you are gone. Until the second you left, You were loved, Unconditionally.

If you ever wonder what the echoes of your influence look like, Know that all who seek me out also seek you. When they say your name I turn around, Because what is of me is also of you. As stained glass is to a chapel, Where they look for color, they find the ancient construction of us. Embedded into consecrated walls, Smoke from holy wood, sweet and desperate. Everyone who heard my voice tastes your words All who read my poems have seen your blood. Where your shadow lingers, my pen traces. No one knows me without hearing your name. I follow the footsteps you leave, And we take turns haunting each other’s dreams.